The cause of friendship

Inspired Wining is delighted to welcome guest blogger, Michelle C. Davis, this week. Michelle recently started an Inspired Wining group in December. 

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"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, 'What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'" C.S. Lewis

Several years ago, I was fortunate to be a part of a dinner club that was forming among brand new friends.  During those first few months, we all began to reveal our inner selves to each other -- and our passion for wine, food & life!  

Fears of judgment began to chip away as I let down my wall and began to really share “me.” Much to my surprise, no one really cared if my house was not 100% presentable or if I gave my kids a bath while they stood naked in a tub not filled with bubbles & toys. We also didn’t care that the culinary experience at one of our homes was a simple (but delicious) homemade pizza! 

What we learned about each other during these times together was that while life is happening, you need to share it with others around you, and when you do, true friendships form. Friendships that last forever!

Recently, I discovered another opportunity for a new circle of friends to come together.  Last summer I joined Inspired Wining with one other friend. We were already in a Bible Tasting ~ Wine Study group together. Out of this group of individuals, several of us decided we particularly enjoyed the Wine Study and that we should continue getting together once a month. Viola! Our Inspired Wining group was born. We've officially been meeting since December. 

In the short period of time since December, we've shared birthdays, deaths, life's ups and downs….AND OF COURSE WINE!

Although we haven’t found a particular philanthropic cause yet, without a doubt we have been inspired to join together in the cause of Friendship. 

Cheers to my Inspired Wining friends & to those of you thinking about forming your own group!

 ~ Michelle

Michelle C. Davis is currently enjoying a career at Greensboro College as a Senior Development Officer.  This role exemplifies her love for relationships and the ability to share her "gift of gab" with people who have a great cause in common.  Having two teenagers on the cusp of entering the world of higher education, Michelle has an appreciation for support of the college community.  

Making memories

Sitting in the parking lot at our kids’ elementary school in January, it dawned on me that we had only 7 more school years until our oldest would be finished with high school. Holy Cow! How could this be? Had Y2K really been 12 years ago? Was middle school really a few months away?

Well, of course, being the sentimental nut-job that I am, I came home professing to my husband that we needed to take some trips as a family, see the world, make some family memories- just the five of us.

Luckily, John was on board and I set out to plan the best educational Spring Break family trip ever. For months, I agonized over where we should go and what we should do. I read websites, bought books and read blogs. I asked friends and strangers about their ideas on where we should go. I spent hours doing comparison-shopping for hotels, for our tickets and our meals.

Finally, the decision was made that we would go to Williamsburg, Virginia. We would visit Colonial Williamsburg, Historic Jamestown, Virginia Living Museum, and The Mariner Museum and, of course, spend a day at Busch Gardens.

We recently returned from our trip, and we had a blast! I will spare you the nitty gritty details of our adventure. But what I really wanted to share, was what our kids told us at dinner as we sat around the table discussing our trip and reminiscing about our week away.

Question #1- “ What was your most favorite part of our trip to Williamsburg?” All three said- unanimously- “STAYING IN A HOTEL!” There was then much discussion about how thin the TV’s were, how the soap smelled fabulous, how cool it was to have microwave popcorn while watching a movie in the fold out bed, how great it was to have cereal from the individual serving boxes, and how awesome it was that they had gotten to have 4 consecutive days of Shirley Temples in the lobby at the manager’s reception. 

Question #2-“What did you learn on this trip that you didn’t know before?”
“There were rumors of cannibalism during the ‘Starving Time’ at Jamestown!” exclaimed Jackson (11 yrs old).
"JR – the skeleton in the Historic Jamestown Museum - died from a bullet wound to the knee!” declared Avery (daughter, 9 years old).
“That lady’s skull we saw in the box--- she died with only 5 teeth!” shared Charlotte (daughter, 5 years old).

Question #3-“ What was the funniest part of our trip?”
“Watching you (Mom) get drenched on the Roman Rapids at Busch Gardens,” shared Jackson with a smile on his face.
"Seeing Char terrified at the top of Da Vinci’s Cradle,” snickered Avery.
 And last, my personal favorite, “Locking Jackson up in the jail cell!” smiled Charlotte.

Summary: Memories can be made anywhere. Obviously, traveling to the unknown can be great fun and educational. However, an occasional hotel room with Mom and Dad, a spooky Scooby Doo DVD to watch, maybe an indoor pool, snacks and some Shirley Temples is really all it takes to make great memories.

Alexis Williams may not be a good housekeeper and she’s even worse at being the tooth fairy. But she loves laughing, traveling, spending time with family and being a part of a community that makes a difference. Alexis is officially Inspired Wining's “go-to girl” for just about everything from developing community partnerships to securing our venues for Inspired Wining on Location events. A wife, mother of 3, a church and school volunteer, Alexis is the sharp-witted sweetheart of the group.

Meet Mackenzie

Four years ago I learned that I was going to have a baby girl. After life with two loud, rambunctious boys, I rather looked forward to a peaceful existence with my daughter.

How naive of me.

The day before my birthday, this new creature entered the world with a mohawk.  After a bit of debate, we settled on the name Mackenzie for this seemed to mirror the spunk of her hairdo.  This name still suits her.

Let me try to explain the phenomenon of Mackenzie.  She has never had much use for baby dolls and barbies, but loves a dress, a pair of tights and “fancy shoes”.  She can wield a light saber as well as any boy and will go on and on about Darth Maul, Darth Sidious and Darth Vader.  (Please note that these are all villains.)  In fact, when playing with her brothers, she names herself “Princess Darth Leia."  That about sums it up.

My sassy girl - as sassy as they get.

She is more independent than I could have ever imagined a person of that size ever being.  She manages to do and get whatever she wants, whenever she wants, not to mention go wherever she wants – down the street, in the neighbor's house, out the store and into the parking lot (with unpaid merchandise).  She doesn't whine, she demands.  She throws, spits, yells and slams doors.  We are all “poo poos.”

We keep soap in the car and a syringe of vinegar in the kitchen.  Her bedroom door sticks, which makes for complete confinement in time-out.  We have spanked, slapped, screamed, threatened  and ignored.  There is no reeling her in.

Of course, I could not live without this little tornado in my life.  When she is not demanding and screaming, she is singing dreamily, laughing heartily and talking a mile a minute.  She is forever telling me she loves me and gushes over how we are both girls. She is confident, smart, full of life and forever entertaining.  I would not wish away any of these qualities which will make her a strong woman, but I just hope I can survive it. 

If you have any similar stories, advice or an escape plan, please share!

Allison Wood Greiner is a high school French teacher, a founding member of Inspired Wining, and mother to three children, including Matthew, who has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. 

10 sips, my ass

I gave up on conventional doctors after various physicians (including a specialist) recommended surgery. Tuning into my granola side, I sought a naturopathic physician. After one consult, we discovered the root of my troubles -- food allergies. Removing gluten and dairy from the diet solved all evil.

During a recent check-up I told the doc that I feel great, but I also lamented. It pretty much sucked that removing dairy and gluten from an already healthy, low carb diet didn’t net any weight loss. Frankly, I told her, I expected to be a twig after nine months without gluten or dairy.

She tried to cheer me up saying I’d lost body fat and gained muscle, but perhaps I’d see more pronounced weight loss if I changed up my exercise routine. (Believe it or not, she said exercise less).

Then she recommend I cut out my wine.

Wine? Isn’t wine supposed to be the healthiest of all alcoholic options? I don’t drink beer, gluten. I don’t drink liquor, calories. But wine? She must have seen the horror on my face to that recommendation, so she suggested I treat alcohol like a carb -- eat/drink sparingly. She recommended that at meals I skip the carb and drink just 10 sips of wine.

Ten sips of wine? Hmm.

I went home that night, dutifully passed on the carbs, and drank only 10 sips of wine. Please try it. See just how far 10 sips will take you. Once you do, you may come to the same realization I did: “10 sips of wine my ass, I’ll keep the extra poundage.”

Tiffany Crenshaw is a  North Carolina native, wife, mother of 2 wild and crazy kids, and an entrepreneur. She loves her family, a delicious glass of red wine, girl time and the occasional spa treatment. As an enthusiastic member of Wednesday Night Whine, she rarely misses a “meeting” unless she’s traveling for business. She is the President and CEO of Intellect Resources, a recruiting and consulting firm specializing in the healthcare IT industry. 

I’ve had it with being too busy. Who’s with me?

I think we're facing an epidemic -- everyone seems "sick" with busy, over-scheduled lives these days. Look around and tell me who hasn't been stricken. I’d say it’s a stage of life thing, but even the retired people I know seem burdened with too many to-dos.

How many times in a given week do you or those in your circles comment about how busy life is? We’re all so busy it seems that all we have time to talk about is how busy we are. In fact, calling our lives “busy” isn’t even accurate anymore. We’ve coined a new term for the level of insane over-scheduling and to-dos we take on; we call it “crazy busy.”

“Hi, Sarah. How are things going?”

“Good. Crazy busy, but everyone’s doing well. How about you?”

“Same. Slammed at work. Hectic at home. As a matter of fact, it’s so great to see you, but I need to run. I had to leave my yoga class early so I could pick up Katie from soccer and get her to the sitter. Joe and I both have meetings tonight. Let’s schedule a lunch soon when I’m not so crazy busy, okay?”

“Yeah, and this time we’ll actually go!”

I've had conversations similar to this. Have you? Sometimes I think I even see a call for help in a friend's smiling, but frantic eyes. "Everything's great! Please call me an ambulance right now because I think I'm going to drop right here in Target," they seem to be saying. That’s not just busy. That’s crazy busy. When we can’t stop and talk to a good friend for more than a few moments without looking at the clock. When we give our children a hasty kiss and move them from one caregiver to another, promising to play Candy Land tomorrow. When we don’t share with our spouses what’s going on at work because there is no time or energy to have a meaningful conversation about our days beyond our plans for managing the next day.

Am I exaggerating? Over dramatizing? Or does this sound familiar to you as well?

While it’s possible I could use some tips on how slow my life down a bit (maybe even an intervention), I don’t think I am alone. On one hand, it seems that I have a number of friends who appear to navigate through their own busy schedules with more grace and ease than I do. But I have an inking they are just as burdened, behind and bewildered by the busy-ness.

The moments when I marvel at my friends who are managing more children or more work responsibility or more charities, I remember the saying that some wise person once said (I was too busy to look up exactly who): “Don’t compare your inside to other people’s outside." 

There’s a lot of truth to that, isn’t there? I bet you any money, the laundry pile at 9 out of my ten closest friends is just as high as mine right now. I bet, like I do, they have hundreds of pictures waiting to be printed. Birthdays that creep up on them before the gifts are bought or the cards mailed.

Even so, that’s little solace when my overscheduled weeks and overflowing to-do lists leave me feeling as though I’m missing out on my real life – the one I want to look back on fondly and proudly, not with regret.

How does your crazy busy life affect you? To me, it’s a feeling of being consumed. My time, my thought process, my creativity, my ability to execute all of the ideas swarming around in my head – all of these are tapped out. And yet there is so much more I want to do with my life, so much I want to give to others.  

I don’t want to be busier; I want to be more productive.

Me...before I knew what "busy" meant.

I want to finish my novel (again) and query agents.

I want to cook more meals, healthier meals.

I want to spend more time soaking up my children’s voices, the feel of my son’s little hand in mine, the last years of my daughter’s girlhood.

I want to better nurture my marriage so that our eventual empty nest won’t feel so empty.

I’m tired of doing more. I want to be more – for people I love and even for people I’ve never met.

Now before you ask me if I would like some more cheese with my “whine,” let me say this: I do have hope that I can better master my schedule with the right changes. I can continue my efforts to live more in the moment. And, indeed, I have a lot of meaningful experiences with my family, in my career, and through my volunteering. Inspired Wining is case in point. I’ve been involved for six years now, and I can very truthfully say, every single moment has been enriching. I hope you have people and projects that fill your life with meaning, or at least help you balance out, in some way, the challenges of being crazy busy.

I’d love to hear from you.  I plan to write a “Part 2” to this post in the near future and share tips for avoiding the pitfalls of being too busy. Or simply post a comment and tell me what you would do if only you had more time. Maybe just the act of expressing it here will give you the idea or fortitude you need to make it happen. (And the same goes for me!)