Raising kids with spunk

Can you guess which one is my little man?

So today our little man, almost a head shorter than every other basketball player on his team, ran out on the court all fired up to play the last tournament game of the season. He was doing the masculine arm flexing you see NBA players do as they run onto the court along with a few chest bumps (in his case, chest/hip bumps) with his teammates. 

What he lacks in height, he makes up for in determination and competitive spirit. It probably comes as no surprise that he plays point guard. He’s agile and, like Wayne Gresky, he has a really good sense of where the ball is going to be. He’s always in the middle of the action.

He is also astute in knowing his weaknesses -- height and consistent shooting. He knows how to overcome them by dribbling well down court and passing to the kid who can shoot more consistently. Or when there’s a scramble for a ball, he grabs on tight and flops to the ground, pulling the bigger kid down because he almost always gets possession. Then he gets to his feet and gets away, running down the court faster than the other kid. 

Needless to say, his spunk is what makes it so much fun to watch him play ball.

However, this same spunk gets him in trouble at times. At school, at summer camp and even Sunday school, he’s had his fair share of discipline for being a class clown. Often times, he has an inability to contain his restless energy, he talks too loudly or he takes his competitive spirit to the playground. Sigh. 

As a parent it’s a struggle to navigate the balance between discipline and encouragement. But as I watch his team win the game and witness one of the taller players picking up my little man and slinging him over his shoulder for a court side celebration, I have to think that he’s going to be more than A-Ok with that competitive spirit and ambition. I think it shows that he is willing to overcome obstacles and utilize his strengths.

Tiffany Crenshaw is a  North Carolina native, wife, mother of 2 wild and crazy kids, and an entrepreneur. She loves her family, a delicious glass of red wine, girl time and the occasional spa treatment. As an enthusiastic member of Wednesday Night Whine, she rarely misses a “meeting” unless she’s traveling for business. She is the President and CEO of Intellect Resources, a recruiting and consulting firm specializing in the healthcare IT industry.  

Sometimes inspiration is right next door

Gearing up for the usual after school shuffle from activity to activity, I careened into the driveway on three wheels. Knowing the drill, the kids were changed, had their bags packed and raced out the front door. 

Just as they were piling in the car, our neighbors strolled by out for an afternoon walk. We stopped for a quick hello and few neighborly minutes of pleasantries. Then we waved good bye and drove off. As the car hurtled down the street, a little voice in the back seat said, “Mike and Cherry are such nice neighbors.”

Smiling into the back seat via the rear view mirror, I confirmed, “Yes, we hit the jack pot when it came to neighbors didn’t we?” The car was quiet as we all reflected on the kind of neighbors who never miss a birthday,  bring over baked goods just because, watch the house when we travel, lend a hand whenever asked, gather the neighbors for parties and always give out cheerful how do you do’s.

How lovely was that moment? Right in the middle of afternoon chaos, at the prompting of my kids, we paused to appreciate life’s unexpected gifts. I propose a toast to all of those truly wonderful neighbors!  We should all be luck so lucky to have have them right next door.

Tiffany Crenshaw is a  North Carolina native, wife, mother of 2 wild and crazy kids, and an entrepreneur. She loves her family, a delicious glass of red wine, girl time and the occasional spa treatment. As an enthusiastic member of Wednesday Night Whine, she rarely misses a “meeting” unless she’s traveling for business. She is the President and CEO of Intellect Resources, a recruiting and consulting firm specializing in the healthcare IT industry.  

Red wine, yoga and girl time

As a guest panelist at a conference last month, I listened as one of the attendees posed the question, “How do you not burn out?”

I was the first of the panelists to respond. "Red wine and yoga," I said.

The room fell silent as the attendees chewed on that thought and then a slow laughter spread. But, I held steadfast. “No, I’m serious. I go at such a fast pace, juggling home/work/marriage and pushing our company to the limits that I need a consistent outlet to catch my breath and refresh. Red wine and yoga are my outlets.”

As I was leaving the conference and dashing off to a shortened girls weekend, I pondered the thought
more and kicked myself for not adding girl time to that list. My mom and girl friends reenergize me whether it’s just by being there to listen or give advice or to cut up and de-stress with laughter.

And you know what? During that girls weekend, we laughed and laughed. It felt great. The laughter started in a gift shop where we found a hilarious line of gifts and cards with circa 1950's and 60’s photos with funnies on them.

A magnet that said, "Wine is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."

Another magnet --- "Behind every great women are lots of women."

Cards -- "Grab the toolbox, let’s get hammered."

Cocktail napkins -- "I’m on a liquid diet and it’s going well; I’ve lost two days so far" and "You don’t have to put yourself down; we’ll do that when you leave."

Of course I loaded up on chatskis for the special girls in my life, but I thought all of you, too, would enjoy a chuckle. Hope it will de-stress and energize you if only for a minute.

Tiffany Crenshaw is a  North Carolina native, wife, mother of 2 wild and crazy kids, and an entrepreneur. She loves her family, a delicious glass of red wine, girl time and the occasional spa treatment. As an enthusiastic member of Wednesday Night Whine, she rarely misses a “meeting” unless she’s traveling for business. She is the President and CEO of Intellect Resources, a recruiting and consulting firm specializing in the healthcare IT industry. 

10 sips, my ass

I gave up on conventional doctors after various physicians (including a specialist) recommended surgery. Tuning into my granola side, I sought a naturopathic physician. After one consult, we discovered the root of my troubles -- food allergies. Removing gluten and dairy from the diet solved all evil.

During a recent check-up I told the doc that I feel great, but I also lamented. It pretty much sucked that removing dairy and gluten from an already healthy, low carb diet didn’t net any weight loss. Frankly, I told her, I expected to be a twig after nine months without gluten or dairy.

She tried to cheer me up saying I’d lost body fat and gained muscle, but perhaps I’d see more pronounced weight loss if I changed up my exercise routine. (Believe it or not, she said exercise less).

Then she recommend I cut out my wine.

Wine? Isn’t wine supposed to be the healthiest of all alcoholic options? I don’t drink beer, gluten. I don’t drink liquor, calories. But wine? She must have seen the horror on my face to that recommendation, so she suggested I treat alcohol like a carb -- eat/drink sparingly. She recommended that at meals I skip the carb and drink just 10 sips of wine.

Ten sips of wine? Hmm.

I went home that night, dutifully passed on the carbs, and drank only 10 sips of wine. Please try it. See just how far 10 sips will take you. Once you do, you may come to the same realization I did: “10 sips of wine my ass, I’ll keep the extra poundage.”

Tiffany Crenshaw is a  North Carolina native, wife, mother of 2 wild and crazy kids, and an entrepreneur. She loves her family, a delicious glass of red wine, girl time and the occasional spa treatment. As an enthusiastic member of Wednesday Night Whine, she rarely misses a “meeting” unless she’s traveling for business. She is the President and CEO of Intellect Resources, a recruiting and consulting firm specializing in the healthcare IT industry. 

Toasting our muses

My father recently retired after a prolific career in a highly successful not-for-profit organization. As I write this, I have a wine glass in my hand, toasting my father’s accomplishments and thinking back to how much he and my grandfather have inspired me. My daughter, Derby, is named in honor of both of them.

Harry Leigh Derby

“Harry” Leigh Derby – my great, great grandfather – lived the American dream. He grew up very poor, but with good values. When the time came, he left home and started a career in chemical sales.  Eventually, he led various chemical companies and became founder and chairman of many, many more. Throughout his career, he served as a Trustee or Chairman on a number of community and corporate boards, opened plants in South America, negotiated labor union disputes, and even served the Roosevelt administration during WWII. His biography reads as a who’s who in American History. Friends with President Hoover and the Rockefeller family, Harry even attended a private party hosted by the Rockefellers on the Hindenburg prior to its fateful voyage.

I was young when my grandfather passed. My memory of him is faint. In fact, I have a greater recollection of his expansive Montclair, NJ, home and of my wonderment at having a chauffeur and an elevator in your home.  

All that said, Harry’s been on my mind lately. I’ve had a chance to reflect on his achievements and success over his long life. In fact, I googled him the other night and found a book he wrote on transportation. He wrote the book in 1916 while he was in college, and it is still available on Amazon today.

Harry Leigh Derby IV

My father, Harry “Leigh” Derby IV, inherited his business acumen from his great grandfather. Dad is also an inspiration to me because he focused his career in the not-for-profit world. Thirty-eight years ago, he established a school in the basement of a church for a handful of individuals with development disabilities. He provided one of the first alternatives to institutionalization of individuals with developmental disabilities (then called mental retardation).

Over the past 38 years , Lifespan has grown into an agency supporting thousands of clients across North Carolina with employment, education and enrichment opportunities. In short, Lifespan works to enhance the abilities of individuals with development disabilities from infants to adults. Dad and Lifespan have integrated preschools with normal and special needs students, created employment programs, and developed creative schools offering cooking, horticultural, drama and computer instruction – just to name a few. Lifespan has also consulted with many other organizations and its curricula and programs  have been adopted by both nationally and globally.

In honor of Dad’s retirement, Lifespan named one of their flagship schools after him. I am so inspired standing before The Leigh Derby School and reading the plaque that adorns his name.  

Sources of inspiration are vital to all of us. Find a spark in your career, your friends, or your very own family tree.Share your story. Leave a comment and tell us who inspires you…

Tiffany is a  North Carolina native, wife, mother of 2 wild and crazy kids, and an entrepreneur. She loves her family, a delicious glass of red wine, girl time and the occasional spa treatment. As an enthusiastic member of Wednesday Night Whine, she rarely misses a “meeting” unless she’s traveling for business. She is the President and CEO of Intellect Resources a recruiting and consulting firm specializing in the healthcare IT industry.